Well, excuuuuuuse me.

Someone on a message board that I frequent started a thread asking, "What is the rudest thing anyone has ever said to you?" Reading the responses got me thinking, because everyone's definition of "rude" seems to be different. Some people listed comments that were clearly more mean/spiteful than simply lacking in decorum. Others listed things that were said in honesty, but were taken the wrong way or were said in a less-than-tactful manner.

Having encountered my fair share of rude and obnoxious people at jobs and even online, I gave it some thought. I think rudeness is more than just a lack of judgment, but slightly less than intentional meanness. I think rudeness comes primarily from a sense of entitlement; it comes from the idea that you don't care (and may not even be aware) that what you're doing or saying affects anyone else adversely; you just need to do or say it because you feel like it.

The problem is that we all have different levels of being insulted. Some people think it's rude to say one thing that others think it's rude not to say that thing at all. We all have to walk a fine line between honesty and tact, and I'm sure we all fall off that line one way or another.

I remember a situation from my World Market days. I was working the register, and a lady came in and handed me a list of wines (and other things) that she wanted to buy. I looked at her and said, "Can I help you?" She said, "Yes, I need these things, please." I said, "Our wine manager is back in the wine section right now, and she can help you find each one of these items better than anyone else in the store." The lady sighed, rolled her eyes, stared at me and said, "That is why you are on THAT side of the counter and I am on THIS side of the counter. Go do your job and bring those items to me. Now."

You know, I could understand the attitude if this was a fancy, high-end store with personal shoppers and stuff, but this was World Market. We had carts and baskets. Those indicate, "Go get it yourself." Not to say you cannot ask for help, but asking for help is entirely different from demanding that someone else do your work for you. Not only did she demand that I do those things for her, but she clearly looked down her nose at me (literally and figuratively) by indicating that my presence behind the counter made me a lower human being than she was. Needless to say, I did not help her. I don't remember if she walked out or finally got the things herself, but I do remember that rude and snotty attitude she had.

Anyway, that's just a thought of the day. I'm remembering a friendship that ended last year as a result of the other person's rudeness and overinflated sense of being right all the time. The friendship ended when I received an absolutely scathing e-mail, listing all of my (apparently fatal) flaws as a friend. Interestingly enough, the proper response to that e-mail would have gone something like this:

"Hello, pot. This is kettle. You called?"

I haven't decided if I regret NOT sending that one-liner or not. I didn't want to stoop to that level; at the same time, it would have been nice to send that message. I find myself often trying to combat rudeness with rudeness. I find comfort in the fact, however, that it is generally sarcasm and intentional rudeness that I dish out as a response to someone else being rude to me. Maybe that makes me no better than that person, but I'm a believer that people ought to be able to take what they dish. Or get out of the kitchen. And stop mixing your metaphors, for goodness sake.